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For Her

As waves of guilt batter the seashore of my mind

I pace the square room and shout at myself,

Punishing myself for the deed I have just committed.

Trying to reason that it was just

And Fair

And Good

But it was NOT I ranted

It was Bad

And Immoral

And Sinful

I pummel my head repeatedly with my left hand.

Spatters of red on my palm still fresh and raw

Now streaked across my forehead,

Mingled with frenzied perspiration.

A glint from my right fist flashes across the once white wall

Now emblazoned with horizontal flashes of dark crimson.

Still fresh,

Slowly dripping like glutinous raindrops.

They drool onto the oak headboard

And splash onto his bald head.

It has been half severed from his head

And propped on pillows like an artefact.

He drowned in a pool of his own life.

Eyes scared wide and bulbous,

Main artery and jugular severed

By vicious and angry stabs of a serrated knife.

He deserved it

Didn't he?

I had to, I had no other choice.

I had to free her from the shackles of her married life.

I had to help her and have her for my own.

I needed her to be mine.

And now she was

Wasn't she?

All mine.

I slug the calming liquid

Stolen from the cupboard downstairs

And grin maniacally at the thought of us together

With no need for secrecy and caution and lies.

A life of trust and honesty and openness;

A life of real love.

It was meant to be.

Catapulted back into reality,

Red and blue flashes illuminate my visage.

Hearing the wailing of justice below

I slump, suddenly deflated

Into the corner of the slumber room.

As the wood splinters

And the lock breaks

Salt water runs from my eyes;

A metaphor for the realisation of my crime.

The time has come for me

To be punished for my terrible sin.

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